Let Go

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.” – Jeremiah 29:13

Looking back on just three months ago I faced a trial I never thought I could ever conquer; fear of loss. Its a real thing. People die everyday and we learn to live with the fact that someday it will be our day, but we never expect it to happen so soon, much less to those people that are closest to us. We come across painful trials that break every part of us, but somehow we keep living, and one day we wake up from that terrible dream with just a memory of it all. Three months ago I was waiting in a hospital room praying to God that He would hear the cry that was on my heart. Praying that He would come through for us like He always has. Praying that my mother, my best friend would keep living for my sake. And here I am today starting my first day of junior year of college, a thing I never thought I would ever get to accomplish. I don’t know why we go through certain situations, but I can tell you that He uses those situations for His good. He uses them so that once we pass through the fire, we can say that God is Good in every season of our lives. God never promised us that our walk with Him would be easy, but it would be worth it. Isn’t that what adventures are? Every good book and movie has a great adventure to tell, and thats where we come into place. He longs to live a great adventure with us, all we have to be is willing to say yes. When we say yes to God, He provides and makes a way where there is no way. He brings the right people into your life to build up your strength. He gives you the desires of your heart because He choses us everyday.

It doesn’t mean it’s going to be all great and fun all the time. It’s so easy to hold on to those things or people we fear of losing, but there comes a certain point in our lives when we realize we are not in control of anything. We go to bed each night believing that we will wake up the next day, but life gets in the way, and sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes we choose to run away from all responsibilities and long to be young again when our only care in the world was which toy we longed for next. This is my third year in the desert. Today marks three years of me going through hard trials, both emotionally, and physically. Three years of finding myself and my identity in Christ. Three years of Him stripping me of everything I thought I knew about Him, and showing me what it’s like to live by faith. Three years of me making mistakes but learning from them sometimes the hard way. It’s a process of Letting Go. Letting Go of everything so that we can fully grow into who we were each meant to be. This summer God taught me how to Let Go and Let God do His will. It’s the easiest, yet hardest thing we could ever do. It will challenge every part of us, it will make us think that we are making a huge mistake, but in the end it will bring us the greatest victory. Once we embrace that God will always be on our side, we begin to think differently. We begin to love people out of the same love we are shown each day. We begin to walk in the identity we were meant to always walk in.

“Yet this is the world God has made-a world that requires to love with risk. Because God wants us to live by faith.” – Wild At Heart

What does Letting Go mean? Well for me Letting Go means accepting the fact that I can’t always prevent bad things from happening. It means giving a certain situation to God knowing that even though it hurts, He makes beauty out of ashes. It means moving away from home pursuing a dream that others might criticize you for. It means having faith that God will take care of those people for you so that you don’t have to, it means saying yes to things that might hurt in the beginning, but will mature us and grow us into our unique identity in Christ.

Today I can proudly say that God chose to bring my mother back. I still don’t understand why such a painful process was necessary, but sometimes he allows these things to happen so that we can tell our story. So that people see how good He is, and that He will always provide for us even when it feels like he isn’t present. It is the process of letting go and allowing Him to do His will.