Be Still

 

In an age of MOVEMENT, nothing is more critical than STILLNESS – Pico Iyer

Dear Reader,

How do we formulate those thoughts that have been on our hearts for the longest time, but seem so far away to share? We journal and begin to tell the truth…

Sometimes life tests us and tests our patience. People break their promises, let us down, and somewhere down the line they become the strangers they were before we knew their names. Maybe it’s a part of life but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Loosing friendships suck but it is inevitable. Not everyone will love you or accept you for who you are. Some people expect something in return for their friendships, but only few stand by you till the very end. For the longest time I have been struggling with comprehending what grace and love looks like for those that take a piece of our hearts when they leave. How can we continue to believe in the people that constantly let us down? How do we allow a perfect love to come in to our lives and wash away all the memories of the past? I’m not saying go and make the same mistake twice, but I’m saying that I’ve learned that people will always let you down. We are all human and are bound to hurt other people simply because we haven’t fixed the hurt in our own lives. We can begin to mend the hearts of the broken by loving them and forgiving their mistakes. We move on and know that there is a grace that abounds in deepest waters. We don’t move on for their sake, but for our very own because not forgiving will only harden our hearts. We let go even though every part of us wants justice to be done. We move on because that’s what Christ does for us every time we mess up. I’m not saying it’s an easy process because I’m still figuring out what that looks like. Sometimes it  starts with taking a day for yourself and exploring the beauty you can’t seem to find in your own life at the moment. Sometimes it means going and yelling at the ocean because that’s the one thing that is constant. Sometimes it even means going and loosing yourself in a big city to remind you of who you really are. Lately I’ve been in the process of being still and knowing that this too shall pass. Maybe it’s the part that sucks the most about growing up, but I’m learning how to enjoy the views.

 

 

 

Be Fearless

Lately I feel like I’ve been in a weird place in life. The gap between being content in life, and longing for something more. What does it mean to walk by faith? What does it mean to really live? What does it mean to be bold and fearless? What does it look like to be weak yet still strong?

These are all questions I’ve been struggling with for the past few months. As I sit in my comfortable apartment bed with my fluffy blankets and my scented candles, there are people just blocks away that experience pain, loss, and suffering over bigger issues than my own. That doesn’t mean we don’t deal with big stuff everyday, but on the contrary, it means that even though our pain may be minimal compared to others, God still treats it as his problem. He bends down to listen to those that cry out to him (Psalm 17:6). Yet, what does it mean to cry out? Is it that moment where we stand up for ourselves and say enough is enough? or is it the soft whisper that leaves our mouths when we are alone at night and can’t seem to deal with our pain in that moment? This year has been a tough transition year for a lot of people, including myself. My professors have pushed me to do bigger and better, I have had to balance working two jobs and going to school full time, and with time I have lost friendships and gained new ones. I have yearned for community, and have learned how to turn to God during my trials. Yet, somehow it hasn’t been enough. Maybe it’s because my heart simply wants to do everything in one lifetime. I want to travel the world and love on people that have never known what love looks like. I want to go to a different country and learn their culture and experience what it is like to live in the now. At times I also want to move back home and relive my childhood where everything was safe and secure. That doesn’t mean I’ll do all of those things because in the end only God knows where he’ll take me, but it means that he puts those desires in our hearts because he is a creative God. He gives us free will to choose him and to choose a life that overpasses any kind of understanding. I’m writing this to inspire myself and whoever else reads this.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU MATTER. NEVER STOP DREAMING.

Whether you say you don’t have time to do the things that are on your heart, or whether you are afraid to do the things that God put in your heart, I want you to know that you are not alone. Everyone has felt that way at some point in their lives. Where would we be if God never put the creative mentality in famous artists like Picasso, and Da Vinci? Where would the world be if Albert Einstein decided to listen to his teacher and never pursue his love for math? Where would we be if songwriters took rejection to heart and never wrote another song in their lives?  We wouldn’t have the best break up songs, and we wouldn’t have those songs that remind us of our loved ones.

BE FEARLESS, BE KIND, BE DIFFERENT.

As I’m currently in school for Film and Music, I have only ever heard from people “Good luck on making a name for yourself.” or “Good luck on making money, you should have a back up plan.” Every time I hear this I can’t help but smile and hope that they are living the life they always wanted. I hope that they go to bed smiling because they love their jobs so much they can’t wait to get up in the morning. I hope they pursued the dream they had when they were younger, because in the end it won’t matter how much money you had, or what kind of car you drove. The only thing that is going to matter is knowing that you lived a life filled with meaning and did something to further God’s kingdom. Whether it’s in film, medicine, photography, or teaching, God has a way with making the impossible happen.