Funny how the things that scare us the most end up happening right? I was always taught even as a child that I had to face my fears. Face my mountains because one day they won’t be mountains anymore. One day those big problems that once seemed unimaginable to cross, will be tiny specks in our review mirrors as we speed away into our next journey…
Lately it seems that I’ve once again been caught at a crossroads, (Something that seems to happen a lot lately). We are presented with choices everyday of our lives, and sometimes we take a step into the wrong direction and end up back where we started. It’s not enough anymore to be the dreamer that lives her life carelessly, but it seems that at some point in life, someone wakes you up from your dream, and you have to face the harsh reality. Words hurt, and we grow, we live, we learn, we meet the most amazing souls, and we meet those people that leave scars taking a piece of who we are with them when they leave. But if theres anything that I’ve learned from what I have been able to live through would be that moving on is a choice. We say we forgive when in reality we have that memory imprinted in the back of our minds fueling the hurt that never seems to go away. I have learned that the more I grow up, the more I wish I could throw the ball and run away abandoning everything. Most of the time I am reminded of how little I actually know about facing this world. I am also reminded of where I come from and what family actually means.
For those of you who don’t know, I was raised in a very small town off the mediterranean coast in the province of Valencia Spain. I met my best friends when I was five, and since then they have left a mark on my heart. They became the siblings I had always wanted but never had. Even after moving to Los Angeles many years later, I felt like I left a part of my heart in that small town in Spain. I have had the most amazing opportunities while being able to study film and music following in my parents footsteps, but what most people don’t understand, is that although growing up in Spain was a huge privilege, it was also the hardest trial. At first I didn’t fit in, I didn’t understand Spanish culture or food, I missed my family, but I realized what a journey life actually is. Although we didn’t always have the nicest things, and we suffered the first few years there adjusting, it later on became the source of my happiness. It’s not until you are completely alone that you learn how to fully rely on God. My mother taught me how to really live by faith even when she seemed to lack it herself. God will never leave you, nor forsake you. He is the source of everything good, and even though we must walk out the hard trials that life presents us with, it is in our weakness that He makes us strong again.
Growing up in a different country really taught me how to value true friendships, and the importance of family. Because of this, I am now able to say that the strongest person I know is my mother. We have walked through every season together and it has only made us grow stronger. Even now when we live hundreds of miles apart, we still walk out life together now more than ever because when mountains seem uncrossable, you lean on someone that will always point you to God.
So if there’s any knowledge that I have learned from my twenty years of living that I could share, would be to not waste time. Time is something that can never be brought back. Learn how to dance in the midst of the storm because one day that big trial will be just but a memory and you will have found out that you survived your biggest fear.
eyesofwander 